If you are reading this article, chances are you and your spouse have had a rough time. Maybe you’ve been married for years and can’t remember why you’re together; maybe you’ve only been married a couple of years and have commitment issues or other issues. The good thing is that there is another option besides divorce for you and your spouse and it is much less expensive, it can save your marriage.
However, there are certain things you need to do if you really want to get the fire going again, and it requires a commitment from both of you.
Steps to make a new commitment
The first thing that usually happens in a marriage going south is a breakdown in communication. You have stopped talking, you have stopped wondering about your day. Whether it’s because you’re both too busy or have too many outside activities, such as children’s activities, make an effort to set aside an hour each day for the two of you to just talk. You will be surprised at the results.
Another tip to make your marriage work is to stop worrying about the kids. We all understand that having a child can change the dynamics of a relationship. However, you need to remember how the two of you initially came together and separate yourself from the role of parent. Both were a couple first.
The third step is to start taking care of yourself again. Whether this applies to physical appearance or eating better, do it, there will be a big change in how you feel about each other. Bring back the romance.
You know how it felt when you started dating, the romantic gestures, you opened doors for her and she had special nicknames for you. Bring all that back! We know busy schedules can cause a break in romantic gestures, but make a special effort to do something romantic every day. You will stir feelings that have been lost over time.
Next, define what is his, hers and ours. Too often marriages break up because one partner feels repressed or feels there is a loss of identity. He encourages her partner to pursue a hobby that interests him or take a weekend away with the girls. Free time to pursue separate interests makes them that much more eager to come home to you.
The sixth step is to always remember to be courteous and give feedback to your partner in a courteous manner. Being harsh with criticism will make him avoid opening up to you. Try to give constructive criticism instead, and remember to consider their feelings.
Commit to one date night every week. You don’t need to spend a lot of money to spend quality time with your spouse. Organize a picnic or go for a walk, try doing something different to add some adventure and spontaneity to your relationship.
The next two steps are very important. First, commit to doing an annual evaluation of your marriage. Performance reviews happen in every other part of our lives, so why not one of the most important pieces, your marriage? Take your time, sit down with others and provide open and honest information to your partner, what do you need? What are you happy with? What are you unhappy with? Putting all issues on the table and being honest prevents issues from being withheld or feelings being bottled up.
Finally, always understand that marriage is a changeable thing. Always feel that the contract is subject to negotiation. If you feel abandoned or have bad feelings, tell your partner. Communication is always the key to a long and happy life together.