I had a rare fashion crisis moment this week. I was watching the tv show Ugly Betty. I know, I know, kind of a female show, but it’s one of those shows that so many people watch that it’s nice to have a bit of knowledge about it. That way, if someone asks if Betty is dating Henry or Gio the sandwich guy or Matt the new YETI guy, I don’t say: Why would any of them date her? She looks like someone’s bubbe.. Saying this would make me politically incorrect. saying YETI Bubbe it makes me look like a sweet guy with a broad cultural background.
So yeah I was looking Ugly Betty. This episode, as I watched it this week, may actually have been from a few weeks ago. I like to store them on my DVR and wait until I can watch them all together. For those who don’t watch the show, it’s about Betty, who has been wearing braces for the past eighteen seasons and wears a lot of hideous prints, all mixed together without caring which prints should be reserved for night or day. summer or winter, dress or sofa. Get a job at Meade Publishing, which may or may not be the company’s actual name, at the company’s flagship magazine. Fashion. Fashion apparently it’s like fashion. There are plenty of totally expected but equally hilarious characters, including Betty’s boss, Daniel Meade, a trust fund playboy who is slowly becoming a real human under Betty’s vivacious, ethical influence.
It was this fellow Daniel who gave me my nervous attack about fashion. You see, I like to take traditional menswear and give it a modern twist and a little customization. In other words, I keep up with, or try to keep up with, the things that are in style today, except for Aladdin pants, cropped jackets, Bermuda shorts and other nameless fashion conscious.
In this episode, Daniel comes flying into the office in a daze, yes, dazed, because his shirt cuffs were poking out of his jacket sleeves. Apparently, he had been at the Marc Jacobs preview and the fists were sticking out. So Daniel came to the conclusion that his shirts were very out of style and that he needed to have 1/8 inch removed from all of them.
And this gave me pause. Because fashion is so arbitrary, after all, how does a guy keep up?
The traditional school of thought is that the cuffs should stick out of the jacket sleeves by about half an inch. I would say, in the jargon of Daniel Meade, that this is the definition of peeking out. This gives your arms some balance, but it also means your shirt sleeves are long enough to comfortably bend your arm without riding up to your forearm. Long sleeves are never good for a man!
Peeking gives you the opportunity to show off your excellent timepiece (i.e. wristwatch) when shooting your fists (for more examples of this, check out Andrew Dice Clay at pretty in pink – this isn’t much of an art film, but it does have great examples of shots). He also provides the perfect canvas for a very fine pair of cufflinks.
When you think about it, there aren’t many places where men can display fine jewelry unless you’re an Italian from New Jersey or an Iranian derivation of the ayatollah. In that case, many thick chains and bulky pendants are of rigor (seems to be very front This day). For the common man, you have a place for a class ring if you went to that kind of school (class rings should only be for college if you’re over 20; if you have a class ring in post-20 and the initials HS come after the name of the school, put it in a box full of sentimental things and focus on new achievements). Or maybe you have a wedding ring or a covenant ring. Or even a signet ring.
Tacks are no longer in style. Period. If you are a minister and want to sport a cross, or are eight years old and need to keep your clip from dripping into your soup, go for it. Otherwise, wearing a tie clip gives you a total Dilbert moment. Neck bars just show the world that you’ve been lying about your neck size for many years and can’t afford a shirt that fits you properly.
Leggings? Not jewelry. Belt buckles? Only in Texas.
So the only place to look for shimmer and shine is the cufflinks! Choose some with enamel designs, so Faberge! Or simple monograms, a very British royal family! Cufflinks will give you the touch of beauty you need to adorn your persona, and if they are discreet enough, you will have the opportunity to show off whether you peek or peer.