There is a saying that “golf is like life only on a larger scale”. Have you ever noticed how people relate their self-esteem to their latest score? Golf has golf psychologists, but why not golf psychiatrists? What is the psychiatric reason for the 50 wars in the world today? Why golfers around the world can get along but family members are suing each other? If there were a great looking young modern clone of Arnold Palmer today and if he were a Muslim, there would be no conflict in the Middle East. Japan would make any Japanese golfer win the Emperor Hirohito Masters. Is it my imagination or did Japan bomb Pearl Harbor, but the moment Isao Aoki tilted his putter like a flag to the mast, America and Japan became best friends?
Golfers have connections, but why don’t they use them? Butch Harmon spent 3 years as the Sultan of Dubai’s personal golf trainer. Why doesn’t the United States appoint Butch as ambassador to the United Nations instead of John Bolton? Did you get the job because you’re related to Michael Bolton? If the modern day clone of Arnold Palmer was a Muslim named Muhammad Palmer and was invited to the Masters Champions Dinner, then instead of calling Americans “The Great Satans”, Muslims would be idolizing Muhammad Palmer today, and Augusta Georgia it would become the third holiest site in Islam, just behind Mecca and the Temple Mount. In order to save life on Earth, why doesn’t the United States send Butch Harmon, David Ledbetter, Hank Haney, Dave Pelz, and a Korean golf coach to Dubai and quickly turn a boy named Muhammad into the world’s greatest golfer? since bobby jones? Imagine 18th fairway on a Sunday afternoon in Augusta filled with Kafiyas and Burkas showing off to a billion Mulsims on Al Jazeera as Muhammad Palmer birdies 18 to beat Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and Michelle Wie. It would be eternal peace on Earth forever. Having Fuzzy Zoeller insult the falafel at the Champions dinner. He would head to the locker room, which begs the question: “How could golf be so popular without violence?” The answer is that it is a distraction from the violence. If you want violence, just watch Ann Coulter on CNN. How dare she call that lovely college girl “Miss Smartie Pants.”