One of my favorite authors, Jerry Bridges, describes a common malady among us evangelical Christians as “Quiet Time Guilt.” (Don’t let the APA find out, they will market a new psychotropic drug to cure it). In “The Discipline of Grace,” Bridges writes: “We have come to believe that God’s blessing in our lives is somehow conditioned on our spiritual performance.” We have been conditioned to set aside time for regular Bible reading and prayer, and we want to do this: this is how we get to know God better.
The problem arises when we become lazy, busy or for some reason just whose should. Forgetting that our relationship with the Father is irrevocable and depends on Your fidelity, rather than our own, we feel guilty and anxious about not fulfilling our part of the bargain.
I like the idea of giving God the “firsts” of my day. It seemed to work pretty well in college when I was a new Christian: My first class wasn’t until 8:30 am. You get up, you shower; you hang out with God and go to class before gym practice. That’s what a person does. Everything was so linear; so logical
Then I got married, had a family, and life got more complicated.
A couple of years ago, I set a new personal record in the department of spiritual apathy. I accepted a large technical translation into Macedonian from a British agency. The overly tight deadline forced me to outsource most of it, and consequently I spent as much time proofreading and proofreading as I would have translated it myself. The agency kept sending revisions to my reviews, questioning both legitimate changes and bugs I had missed. For eleven days, I averaged four hours of sleep a night as I tried to indulge his every whim.
My two-year-old’s potty training regressed; the preschooler sat in front of the TV all day; older children struggled with their homework without help; and burned several meals. My husband tried to help and insisted that he take a stronger stance with the client, but we ended up arguing. I became a nervous wreck, finally succumbing to tears only when the agency scammed me out of payment. As I was still carrying a full load of interpretation, driving home from an assignment one night, it suddenly dawned on me that I was supposed to lead the Bible study the next day. “Oh shoot,” I thought. My Bible had been gathering dust, unopened, for two weeks straight. I hadn’t prayed or reviewed the week’s lesson. “Good thing that’s Romans 9: Effective Election and Calling. I can do it cold.”
That was the day I realized I had a time management problem, and it was quickly becoming a problem. spiritual issue. The peace and undercurrent of joy that marked my daily life was fading fast and I didn’t know what to do about it.
When you’re a new parent, there’s something inherently conducive to having a regular quiet time. You have a ready excuse not to go to work for a few months, and babies (although they have a disconcerting habit of constantly waking you up during the night) take regular naps. It’s calm. You have (some) time. On top of that, you’re still enjoying the joy and wonder of God’s new creation, and approaching Him in worship seems to flow naturally. Like many moms, I was drawn to the regular devotional life after becoming a mother. Suddenly, spiritual matters seem to take on a new sense of urgency. Our most important job, as parents, is to raise our children to know and love God. To do justice to this task, I knew I needed to be in prayer every day, not just in church on Sundays.
Then the children multiplied, grew, and my job description changed. It wasn’t just about Pampers and formula bottles anymore.
Working hours increased. Washing clothes became a daily chore, where before it was weekly. Talking to God was replaced by writing about Him. Of course, being the queen of rationalization, I can justify anything. “The more I work, the more we can title for Your Kingdom, Lord. Washing and cooking are necessary parts of serving my family…isn’t that what being a Proverbs 31 wife is all about? Also, writing is my ministry I am using the gifts you gave me to build people up. (God loves it when you use spiritual language, you know). “I want to sit at Jesus’ feet like Mary of Bethany did, but she didn’t have children running around.”
Fortunately, God wasn’t buying my excuses. I had to admit that washing machines, microwaves, and Swifter WetJets(TM) didn’t exist in 1st century Judea, and somehow Martha and her sister did all the housework while feeding a dozen men who didn’t call or call. They sent text messages. forward. The awkward fact of the matter is that He gives all of us the same 24 hours in a day, and we make time for what we really want. Susanna Wesley had 19 children, but she communicated with God every day. She used to resort to kneeling under the dining room table, with a towel over her head, in order to pray in peace. This was the children’s signal that mom was not to be disturbed. Through her godly example and loving discipline, the Wesley children changed the world. Tenacity always pays off.
Years ago, he took advantage of the quiet of the early morning to rest in the presence of God. Since the kids didn’t have to get up for school until 7:00 am, if I had coffee at 5:30 am I still had over an hour to get my marching orders for the day. In fact, I was able to read a passage without being interrupted. I was calm – PBS wasn’t breaking my concentration yet with the tasteless laughter of a purple dinosaur – and I was able to give Jesus my full attention. Being aware of his love and presence made a definite difference in how I spent my day. (Believe me, I’m not a nice person by nature. Any joy you may feel in me is all of the).
As time passed, this time it was sold out. Reading Christian blogs replaced reading the Word. Answering urgent emails scrolled the sentence. The nights I was writing, translating, and editing, after the kids were in bed, they would put me to sleep until I really “had” to get up. Nowadays, if I get up at 5:30 am, it’s only because a patient is scheduled for surgery at 7:30 and I need to be on Mass Pike by 6:00. Somehow, I convinced myself, spinning Matt Redman CDs in the car constitutes having “quiet time.”
So I have the nerve to surprise myself when I feel anxious, discontent, and disconnected from God. I miss you.
It’s a balance that every Christian mom I know tries to strike: God has given us our husbands and children as precious gifts, and He expects us to invest our time, energy, and love first and foremost in our families. Since He told us to “pray without ceasing” (Luke 18:1; Acts 1:14), rushing into prayer while peeling potatoes or folding laundry is perfectly normal and part of life. I have reviewed Biblical solutions to dilemmas while ironing my husband’s shirts. However, the consistent, disciplined pattern of devotion illustrated throughout the Bible means withdrawing from crazy schedules and diligently seeking God. Lasting spiritual growth only comes when we do that, although it seems more difficult during certain seasons of our lives. I have been thrown off balance in the other direction as well: I remember several times, when my youngest daughter was a baby, she annoyed me that she would wake up and cry when I had woken up hoping to read a Psalm or two. Realizing that Jesus didn’t mind being interrupted by a child, I saw my need to be more flexible.
Recently, our pastor preached a conviction sermon on what it means to “abide in Christ” (John 15:9-10). God’s blessing and the sense of closeness in our lives is proportional to our obedience; therefore, if we are walking in obedience to his Word and spending time in prayer, we are “remaining” in his love. Most of that “staying” (or “staying in [His] love,” as the NIV says), is our devotional life. Obedience that is motivated solely by duty, rather than love, will quickly lead to drudgery. How can we cultivate love for God if we do not come to know Him, and how will we get to know Him outside of the Bible and conversing with Him The Scriptures are His way of speaking to us, the only source of divine revelation.
In the midst of our demanding jobs, hectic soccer schedules, endless housework, and even ministry opportunities (which can be a tempting substitute for “closet prayer”), quality time with God is still possible. It may be necessary to give up other things, or even put some projects on hold for a while, but it’s worth it in the end. Just as you cannot pour out of an empty cup, it is unrealistic to expect to be able to pour into other people’s lives unless you are being fed and encouraged at the feet of the Master.