Dating an unemployed man, that was the subject of the question I got in my email one day. A girl wanted to know why the man she was dating wouldn’t commit to her. She was deeply hurt by this and took her explanation of her unemployed status as a fallacy. She thought that he was just trying to manipulate her. She thought he was trying to hold on to her while he was free to have fun. She thought that if he really loved her, he would be with her. Besides, she was a fully functional adult. She certainly didn’t need a man to take care of her financially. She needed a man who would take care of her emotionally. She didn’t understand men very well either.
No, it wasn’t a ruse, some kind of trick or a lie. Men are defined by who they are. Who they are is based on what they do. I’m a United States Marine, I’m a firefighter, I’m a financial analyst. For men, a job is not just a job, it is part of what defines them as a man. When a man is unemployed, when he has no income, he is lost and discouraged. He really couldn’t commit to her because he was unemployed. The fact that he wasn’t the man he wanted to be for herthat he couldn’t provide for her The way he wanted (it’s not about how she feels, it’s about how he feels), he couldn’t be emotionally what she needed either. This is the detailed reason why an unemployed man cannot commit. Until a man has blocked out who he is, what he does, and makes a good income from it, a relationship is last on the agenda. Not out of selfishness, but out of desperation. He can’t mentally go on with his life until he starts making money and has a job.
It’s wonderful that she can take care of herself financially and only needs his love and not his money, but that doesn’t meet his needs, which are to take care of himself, his wife, and his family, the way he who raised him , the way he needs, the way she wants. Dating unemployed men is a bit risky, however, if she decides to pursue something with a man like this, she remembers that she needs your emotional support. Be his cheerleader and push him forward. If he succeeds, great! He will accompany you on the journey; however, if it fails or shows few results, it might be best to go ahead and let him figure things out.