Have you heard of the Petersons? His son Skeeter got kicked out of school, got caught smoking something illegal, and now stays up late at night in his room day after day in his Snuggie!
So when did the Petersons’ son become “That boyAnd what could the Petersons have done differently??
Many young people today have too many temptations at their fingertips.
Does that put them in danger? Nope.
Could it be a sign of becoming a Skeeter Peterson? Not necessarily.
No sign is cause for alarm, but put a few of them together and you’re headed for “Skeeter country.” This article is designed to show you the danger signs and help you avoid a complete meltdown that could end in school failure or much worse.
I have been working with adolescents and young adults since the turn of the millennium. Most of my early work was with children who had gone astray. My job was to help them get back on track. However, in recent years much of my work has been with young people who have gone online, offline and dropped out of just about everything. Living 24/7 in their rooms, playing video games and being chauffeured as needed.
One thing that most of these people have in common is that they are challenged by some unidentified fear that hinders their success. In the name of these fears, these people have subconsciously come to the conclusion that by choosing to fail and sabotaging the various types of help provided, they ultimately “win.” We can all feel Martin Sheen’s pain over this kind of “gain.”
I have also noticed that, to a person, each of these people possesses a unique talent that is exceptional but not developed or discarded in them, very often because it was deemed impractical. However, this is often the starting point for your salvation.
The 10 Warning Signs
- Staying up unusually late on a regular basis.
- Not handing in homework on time.
- Fail exams and/or assignments.
- Avoiding virtually all family meals.
- Chronically sleeping and missing the start of school.
- Sudden changes in attitude (active or passive aggressive).
- Self-destructive behaviors.
- Obsession with a hobby. (Video games, magic cards, etc.)
- Constantly arguing about the value/point of the school.
- Antisocial behavior or self-deception.
How to respond to the 10 warning signs.
It is worth noticing from one to three signs.
Four signs and you should be saying something about it.
Five signs require some action.
More than five signs; Don’t panic, but some serious work needs to be done ASAP.
Three quick changes for success
The goal is not to drive them out, but to empower them and help them overcome their fears.
- talk to them. You would think that dinner would be the best time for discussions, but that may seem like unsafe territory to you. Find a place that empowers them, that allows them to feel safe, and ask to meet them there. Try active listening; listen, answer what you think you heard in your own words, validate and empathize. You’d be surprised at the changes people experience when they listen to their own words without worrying about being judged.
- Find a mentor. If your particular talent requires a teacher, coach, or trainer, you’re all set. Choose that person not because of his success in his field, but because of his abilities to enrich life. If your child’s talents don’t lie in these fields, find a life coach who specializes in personal growth for young adults and teens.
- ask them. If you take the time to write down your fears and concerns (without blame or accusations) and share it with them in an environment that empowers your child, the best first action may be to let them know. to them suggest that they they can do to change their lives.
Many of the world’s inspirational people started out with many failures in their teenage years.
What was important was not what they had done but how they changed their lives for the better.
It’s never too late and remember to do something you love to do for at least a few minutes each day, just for the sake of it.