What do you think is the most important thing for your children? Do you take them to lessons and practices, or is it the smile and hug you greet them with after school? If you guessed the latter, you are correct.

Twelve years of teaching and giving the same assignment every Mother’s Day has led me to exactly the same conclusion. You see, every Mother’s Day I would ask my students for advice on how to be a mother. They were to think about the things their mother or guardian did for them or with them that made them feel happy or loved. The classroom would go silent as the students wrote intensely for longer than they had written before. Smiles often appeared on their faces as they reflected on the happy experiences they were remembering. After reading your responses I would add all the ideas you mentioned to my list. Surprisingly, many of the responses were the same. Year after year, in every country I taught, and in every type of demographic, students said the same things and had the same message: It’s the little things their mothers did that meant the most and were the ones they remembered.

Many moms today feel like they’re not good moms unless they’re rushing their kids from lessons to practices and back to lessons again. I have had mothers tell me that they want to give their children all the opportunities that they did not have. While this thought may bring some comfort to the mother, she doesn’t really do the same for her child, who feels potentially overwhelmed, stressed, and tired.

After endlessly discussing this topic with my students, it became clear to me that today’s children are involved in too many activities and, in turn, less and less in touch with themselves and their families. Also, my students told me that they really wish they had more time to “just play.” Of course, many of them enjoy their extracurricular activities, but it is not necessary, they said, to be able to do everything. What they enjoyed the most and what warmed their hearts the most was when their mothers did simple things for them or with them.

Here is a list of the top ten things students around the world said they remembered and loved most about their mothers.

  1. He comes to my room at night, tucks me in and sings a song to me. She also tells me stories from when she was little.
  2. Give me hugs and kisses and sit down and talk to me in private.
  3. Spend quality time with me alone, not with my brothers and sisters around.
  4. Give me nutritious food so that I can grow healthy.
  5. At dinner let’s talk about what we could do together over the weekend.
  6. At night talk to me about anything; love, school, family, etc.
  7. Let me play outside a lot.
  8. Cuddle up under a blanket and watch our favorite TV show together.
  9. discipline me. It makes me feel like you care.
  10. Leave special messages on my desk or lunch bag.

Children are incredibly wise and tend to see the world more simply than we do. Maybe it’s time we started heeding their advice. Maybe we’d all feel a little less stressed and satisfied with the fact that doing little things really is…good enough.

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