LIFE AFTER BIRTH: THE FIRST 6 WEEKS

Life after birth can be chaotic, especially if this is your first baby. Taking care of your newborn is hard work and it won’t be much fun until you develop a personality. In case you didn’t know, a newborn does not laugh or smile, cannot play or even hold its own head without a supporting hand. All he can do is eat, sleep, dirty diapers, pass gas, vomit, and cry. Despite all this, believe it or not, you will love your little one more than anything else in the world. Plus, you’ll learn a lot about yourself and your partner as you both navigate these early days of parenthood.

Sex (or lack of it)

You should know that sexual intercourse is prohibited for at least 6 weeks after your partner gives birth. Don’t forget that you just gave birth to a good-sized human through a very small birth canal and your body will need time to heal. Your girl’s doctor will ask you to see her about six weeks after delivery for a complete physical and emotional postpartum follow-up. At this visit, the doctor will check how your wounds are healing. If all goes well, your partner will have the green light for sex. However, this does not mean that she will be so interested and eager to get back in the game. You are likely tired from all the ordeal of pregnancy and the added responsibilities of caring for a newborn. Help as much as possible and be patient. Her interest in sex will return … but don’t push her too hard.

Sleep (or lack of it)

The good news is that babies need a lot of sleep, 15-16 hours a day. Unfortunately, newborns do not have regular sleep patterns and do not sleep for many hours at a time. This means that you will not have regular sleep patterns either. Get in the habit of taking naps during the day. And if that doesn’t work for you, get used to a lack of sleep. You and your partner may feel like you’re losing your mind as you quickly realize how moody and dysfunctional you can be after several nights of interrupted sleep. Hang there. After about 8-10 weeks, your baby will start to sleep through the night (about five hours straight) and his sleep-deprived zombie state will be a thing of the past.

You may want to alternate night shifts to maximize the amount of uninterrupted sleep each couple gets. There really is no need for both of you to get up every time the baby needs to be fed, pampered, or changed.

Taking care of your little baby

After your shopping spree for nursery supplies, baskets, and strollers, you may have thought you were completely ready for your baby. While these purchases were necessary, they are only a small part of what you need to survive postnatal care. There will be many new and strange things for you and your partner to learn. The ins and outs of feeding, bathing, diapering, and caring for the umbilical cord are by no means intuitive. Don’t be scared or discouraged by your newfound incompetence. Most likely, your partner is also incompetent in this area. It is okay to make mistakes; every new parent does. The good news is that the learning curve for parents is steep. You and your partner will quickly develop the skills necessary to care for your baby. To help you, here are some tips on the basics of baby care:

Feeding

The first step is to decide your feeding method: breast milk or formula? There are many benefits to breastfeeding, including the nutritional and emotional benefits. Breast milk is a complete food source that contains hormones and disease-fighting compounds that are lacking in formula. Breastfeeding also helps create a special bond between mother and baby. Studies show that babies thrive on skin-to-skin contact, hugs, and arms that occur during breastfeeding. However, there are a variety of reasons why many women do not breastfeed. They may not be able to make enough milk or they may have to return to work shortly after birth and are not available to nurse the baby all day. Whatever the reason, your girl shouldn’t feel guilty or uncomfortable deciding to bottle feed. There are many great formulas available that are very nutritious. Talk to your partner’s doctor or pediatrician about the recommended formulas.

Regardless of your feeding method, you should know that most newborns eat about 8 times a day (about every two to three hours). However, you should not try to set meal times for the first few weeks after birth. Let your baby eat when he is hungry.

Toilets

Because your baby’s umbilical cord will need to heal, it is very important to keep it dry to prevent infection. After about two weeks, the gross-looking stump (that is, the remnants of the umbilical cord) will fall off and your baby will be left with a cute belly button. In the meantime, be especially careful not to get the umbilical cord wet during bathing. The best way to do this is to give your baby sponge baths until the cord heals.

To give a sponge bath, you will need a stable surface, a soft cloth, and warm water. Be sure to test the water temperature before applying the cloth to your baby to avoid burning. Your elbow or the inside of your wrist is a good place to measure the water temperature. Your hand is not a good guide, as it is not sensitive enough to know how hot or cold the water is. Now you can begin to gently wipe your baby with the moistened cloth. Start by cleaning your baby’s eyes (from the inside out), ears, and armpits. Then it can move on to the legs and genitals. When washing the bottom, be sure to wipe from front to back to prevent stool from getting close to the genitals. If your baby has been circumcised, then you’ll want to talk to your pediatrician about caring for the penis while it heals.

The most important thing to remember when bathing your baby is NEVER to leave him alone, not even for a second. Babies squirm a lot, so always keep your eyes and one hand on your little one during bath time. The same rule applies when you change your baby’s diaper.

Changing diapers

Don’t avoid this responsibility because you have never changed a diaper before. Because babies urinate and defecate so frequently, you will spend a lot of time changing diapers. Take advantage of this precious time with junior. You may also need to develop silly and immature techniques to comfort your baby if you don’t enjoy the diapering process. As ridiculous as it may feel, this is actually an important part of bonding between parents and children.

While it can be a dirty job, diapering isn’t rocket science. For easy-to-follow instructions, be sure to read our article on How to Change a Diaper at http://www.thefunkystork.com.

Take care of yourself and your partner

As frivolous and silly as it may sound, personal care is important. Neither you nor your partner are doing your baby any good by neglecting yourself. Try a shift work system where you schedule an hour or two during the day where one parent will take care of the baby alone. In this way, the other parent can practice self-care: take a long, warm bath, go for a run, do yoga, read, or just go for coffee with a friend.

You will find that self-care will also help you maintain courtesy in your relationship with your partner. If you take the time to do something for yourself, you will find that you will not be so overwhelmed by your initiation to parenthood. And don’t forget that this rule also applies to your partner. In fact, she will likely need more time to take care of yourself than you do, as she will also recover from both 40 weeks of pregnancy and the hours of delivery. Also keep in mind that your partner is particularly vulnerable to postpartum depression during the first few weeks after birth.

Postpartum depression, which is a more serious case of postpartum depression, can start a few days after delivery. Experts don’t know the real cause of postpartum depression, but they suspect that it has something to do with changes in hormone levels. Stress, disturbed sleep patterns, and changes in daily routine can contribute to postpartum depression. Signs and symptoms include restlessness, irritability, changes in appetite, sadness, and anxiety. If your partner experiences any of these symptoms or if you feel like something is wrong with the way you are behaving, you should see your doctor immediately. Untreated postpartum depression can turn into postpartum psychosis, which is a serious mental illness that requires medical intervention. Both you and your partner should take your postpartum psychological state very seriously.

On a lighter note, you and your partner go the extra mile to maintain the romance in your relationship. While your baby will require a lot of time and attention, he will also take a lot of naps. Nap time can be the perfect (and unique) time for you and your partner to fall in love. Snuggle up, watch a movie, make dinner, or enjoy a glass of wine together. Whatever you decide to do, take a minute to set the mood with candles and relaxing music.

Another important factor to consider is how involved you want your parents or your partner’s parents to be. Parental intervention can add seriously unnecessary stress to the situation and unnecessary strain on your relationship. That said, you shouldn’t turn down offers of help. Being a new parent will not be easy and you will need all the help you can get. Just remember to set limits and don’t be afraid to tell your family member what they need (and don’t need). The last thing you want is to have an authoritarian relative who will push your boundaries and stay beyond your welcome.

Now what?

Things change after about 6 weeks of caring for your newborn. You and your partner will be different people, your relationship will be redefined, and your baby will start acting more like a baby than a restless alien. Life will get easier from now on. Your baby will grow into a toddler and start wandering around the house. Make sure you’re prepared for the curiosity of youngsters by baby-proofing your home early.

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